Life is beautiful. Whether in the midst of natural disasters…..hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, fires…we can find beauty even in grief.
I was alone with my dog through the 12 hours that Category 5+++ Hurricane Maria mercilessly tore my paradise Dominica apart with ruthless fury.
I faced my mortality and will to live as I stayed in the present moment with clarity and courage.
Such an experience changes you forever.
When I finally emerged from my flooded and battered home, I realized I couldn’t wrap my head nor my heart around the devastation I faced.
But there was no time for grief just yet. I was in survival mode and securing my house to be livable again was #1 priority.
I mopped up and swept out gallons of water. From time to time several people helped me and I am eternally grateful. I foraged the guavas and avocados lying on the ground under a tangled mess of pick-up-sticks once called the rainforest. I rationed my food of only two weeks duration. I packed the barest necessities to carry on my back for evacuation. I offered my services to any of the villagers in need as I inquired about their families. I searched for pure drinking water from mountain springs. Ironically, I bathed in my rain catchment shower with Hurricane Maria’s water! I gave thanks constantly for my life. I thought of my family who couldn’t know my status as all communications were silenced.
After 7 days I felt I had done all I could for my dog, cat and property to secure them, so I evacuated myself along with my handyman across 10 landslides into the city of desolation, Roseau, our capital, hiking to the ferry terminal.
Once inside, collapsing on a bench, a very kind lady offered me to message my son and daughter on a functioning phone. I sent the message “It’s Mom. I’m alive”. In 15 seconds my son replied “OMG. I love you!” THEN, the grief, and tears poured out as I sobbed for my loss and Dominica’s loss of our hopes and dreams brutally stopped by this force of nature. The grief allowed my body and mind to finally let go, so much so, I felt drained and exhausted for the first time.
Yet, I am one of the fortunate ones. I had friends waiting for me in Guadeloupe. I slept on and off for two days–emotional but grateful for faucet water, electricity, vehicles, and internet communication. Hundreds of messages had been accumulating from across the world enquiring about my status. Grief came up again and again as I hugged welcoming souls, shared my story and theirs, and was given so much love.
And I found that grief has a present hidden deep inside. LOVE IS NEVER ENDING! We just learn to let go of control and trust the process of life! I have a whole new world to explore as I rise like the phoenix from the ashes and claim victory! Just watch us rise!
